


Venice

by Niall_Princess_Horan



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Niall Horan, Don't Like Don't Read, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manhandling, Pain, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:20:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27995172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niall_Princess_Horan/pseuds/Niall_Princess_Horan
Summary: Prompted:Niall centric. Niall is raped by his boyfriend, comfort and support from the boys.I suck at summarys, Give it a read and please comment feed back :)
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pianogirl12345](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pianogirl12345/gifts).



> Title will be chanced when I think of a better one, any suggestions are welcomed!!
> 
> Will add a better summary when I think of one hahahaha
> 
> Love this prompt, fluffy niall is the best thing ever!!

NIALL POV (unless otherwise stated)

*2010*

"So, I want you guys to go on tour. We'll start with the UK first and then spread further afield. We can see how this tour goes and hopefully add more dates and countries as your name gets bigger" Simon smiles at us as we sign the contracts for our first ever tour! 

We are all super excited! Zayn is instantly calling his mum, the second his pen is down on the paper and Louis is diving on him, shouting "oi oi" in the background, causing him to get an elbow to the ribs as a way of silencing him. Liam is looking over the agenda and trying to memorize all of the countries although we all know he has the worse memory of us all. Harry is in a deep conversation with Simon over the places we will go and how rehearsals will be and complaining about the schedule for the gym. I'm sat there thinking this is the best thing ever! But I can't make myself move from the spot, because now it's real. Now we have to actually spend months at a time together on the road, whereas before in the X Factor house - we could see each other as and when we pleased, we had other people we could talk to so we weren't living in each other's pockets. 

"Aren't you excited Nialler?" Liam grins and I nod quickly, because I am! I'm so excited to be touring the country and playing to thousands of people. I'm excited at the prospect that we could actually make it. We could actually become world famous musicians and go on forever! But what if we don't make it? What if we get it wrong? What if I get it wrong?

I feel my anxiety rising and close my eyes to ground myself, trying to remember my breathing techniques from therapy. Inhale for 3, exhale for 5. Inhale for 3, exhale for 5. I open my eyes and see Liam looking at me concerned and I offer him a half smile.

"Went a little dizzy" I lie and he laughs, joking that I can't possibly have low blood sugar after the lunch I consumed. I agree with the lunch thing but don't tell him I lied through my teeth.

*2011*

"So, are you all excited for America?" Simon grins as we once again sign the next year of our lives away to go on an even bigger, stadium world tour.

"Yeah!" Harry grins once again diving straight into the logistics of the tour and scheduling, offering his two pence here and there where he disagrees with the efficiency, but he knows as well as I do that no matter how many points he argues -Simon isn't changing the schedule.

Zayn is once again on the phone to his mother and I feel an increasing level of Deja Vu, only this time amplified by the fact we are about to embark on a World TOUR!

Liam has given up trying to learn the schedule, knowing that I could remember it in my sleep last time, so all the boys just asked me by the 3rd week where we are. They all gave up on logging on to their emails and checking the rota and just hollered something along the lines of "Oi Nialler, where next?" To which I would reply "Kent"

Louis comes and sits by me, squeezing my hand gently, knowing my anxiety probably isn't great.

He found out about it one night when we were on Tour last year in Derby and some crazy fans had somehow found their way to the car park that our tour bus was in. They began banging on the windows and trying to open the door - not knowing if any of us were in here, but determined to find out. I woke up in a panic at the banging and fell out of my bunk. Lou found it hilarious at first, until he saw the sheer panic in my eyes and pulled me in for a cuddle. He squished me onto his bunk and closed the curtain, telling me we were safe in when the curtains closed. We both knew it was a load of bull shit, what could a curtain honestly do? It reminded me of the people in horror films that pull the duvet over their heads, assuming a bit of fabric can protect them, but I appreciated the sentiment. Security arrived not long after and removed them, Paul coming onto the bus to make sure we were all okay.

"You boys good?"

"Yeah, that was mental! I saw someone's boobs!" Liam shrieked and I could hear the 1000-Watt smile on his face.

"We're chill" Harry added from where he and Zayn had been playing Fifa.

"We're good" Lou called, rubbing my back gently and I kept my face buried into his chest.

"Lou, Nialler in there with you?" He called and I could feel a little light hit the bunk, knowing he must have opened the curtain slightly.

"Yeah, he's asleep" he lied,

"Bloody hell! He really can sleep through anything" Liam scoffed, referring to the time I slept through a miniature earthquake. The curtain was closed once again and the bunk became safe.

I never told Lou all of it, just a little about the anxiety and claustrophobia, the latter of which I told the rest of the boys a few weeks later after fighting our way through over 400 fans.

"I'm good" I smile, he squeezes my hand but doesn't let go, indulging Harry on his argument as to why he should get the bathroom first in the mornings.

*2012*

"Come on, was she good?" Zayn smirks as Liam comes out of the shower after yet another one-night stand. Every time we go out drinking it seems at least one of them end up sleeping with a girl. 

"She was" he laughs, never saying anything different. He may tell us all the girls he gets with, but never anything about the details which I respect. If I was a girl, I wouldn't want someone telling all their friends about the sex we had, or how good I am.

"Never give up the dets do you Payno" Harry laughs and he shrugs.

"How many is that now?" Lou ponders when he comes into the room, he slides down on to the couch next to me and pulls me legs over his, resting his hand on my knee and rubbing his thumb over it lightly. I shiver slightly at the tickling sensation and rest my head on his chest.

"4" he laughs, loading up Fifa and passing Harry the other remote, despite Zayn's protests and out stretched arm.

"You've slept with 4 girls" I frown, that seems like a lot to me.

"NAh mate, 4 this week. It's like, 23 or somat now" he chuckles at my naivety.

"That's a good score mate. I'm only on 15" Zayn mutters, and they fist bump at the thought of their notches on the bedposts.

"11" Harry mutters, making his little avatar score a goal.

"6" Lou adds, clearly not bothered he has the smallest score rate.

I stay silent and watch the game. I consider making up a number, probably matching Louis to shift the attention away from me, but I'm a shite liar. They'll see straight through it before I even open my mouth.

"Nialler? Come on, what about you?" Zayn asks, handing out a beer to each of us.

"Oh, um. 6" I mutter, trying to have the confidence they all have, but knowing when it comes to sex - I'm essentially a baby.

"Liar" Liam scoffs.

"Li, leave him" Lou warns, clearly now fancying Liam causing another row tonight. He's a great guy, but loves knowing everything about everyone.

"It's okay if it's lower. What, is it like 3 or something?" Harry says kindly and I shake my head with a sigh.

"Have you?" Zayn asks, grin very evident on his face, clearly finding it hilariuos that I'm an 18 year old virgin.

"No. Okay? I haven't" I snap, hiding my face in Louis neck.

"It's cool mate, next night out we can find you a lass and you can finally become a man" Liam jokes, patting my back.

After that embarrassing audial, conversation swiftly moves to rehearsals tomorrow and, since I know the schedule for the next 8 months like the back of my hand, I don't have any reason to pay attention and allow myself to go to sleep.

I think nothing of it until we're in Venice a few weeks later and have a few days off, the guys instantly stating we're going to get pissed and I can finally "fuck a chick".

I pull on some black jeans and my white poison top with some trainers, each of the others supporting similar attire baring Harry who has his Chelsea boots on - fucking diva.

We head into a bar called 'Space' and I can smell the booze and weed before we're even past the bouncer at the door.

Zayna and Harry order 40 shots of something, arguing it's "only 8 each".

3 Rounds later, it's not long before Harry, Zayn and Liam are pointing to different girls asking "What about her?". My only response so far has been to shake my head and down my pint. Louis has also joined in once or twice but can clearly sense I'm not interested.

"What about him?" Lou asks after another round of unknown shots.

"What?" I frown, eyes wide and fearing I resemble something of a deer in headlights.

"That guy over there. The tall one. He keeps looking at you" he smiles.

"Lou, I- I-"

"-It's okay if you are it's okay if you aren't. I just want you to have a bit of fun Nialler" he smiles, and I nod weakly, glancing over a the guy.

"Are you?" he asks quietly as I check the guy out and I nod a little.

"Yeah, I'm gay"

"Cool, then go have some fun. He's cute" Lou smiles and shoves me lightly towards the man who is smiling at me and offering a polite wave.

"Sorry, for not telling you, or the guys" I say quietly in Lou's ear, knowing I need to talk loud enough for him to hear me over teh blearing music.

"Mate, I've know for months" He cackles.

"What? How?"

"Josh? You've been eye fucking him for 2 years" he smirks and I nod agreeing, I have been checking Josh out for 2 years. He's the only reason I wanted to learn the drums.

After another little shove I make my way over to the guy, only realising how tall he is when I get next to him. He must be around 6 foot whilst I'm barely scraping 5'6.

"Hi" I smile.

"Hi, would I be allowed to buy you a drink?" he asks gently in my ear, his breath tickling my neck and I can feel myself blush a crimson red, but nod.

"Sure"

"Sure he won't mind?" he asks, nodding towards where Lou is sat. I look over at Lou and he gestures for me to shoo, with his hands.

"Nah. He's just a mate" I laugh.

"I'm Matty" 

"Niall" I grin as he hands me a pint of beer. I take a sip and am immediately impressed it's Guiness; none of this watered-down cheap beer that people are so fond of.

I have another drink with Matty afterwards, me offering to buy but he waves my wallet away and gets them.

We can't really hear what each other is saying very well, so we just end up settling for laughing and checking each other out. He is pretty tall, around Harry's height, with a slightly muscular build. His hair is almost black and his eyes a burnt brown colour that I could get lost in for days.

He moves some of my hair out of my eyes and I lean in to kiss him. I've never been so bold, but figure it must be the mountain of alcohol I have been consuming over the last 4 hours. He kisses back immediately, one hand going to my waist and the other straight to the back of my neck holding my head in place. I groan slightly at the manhandling and feel him smirk into the kiss as the hand on my waist tightens almost as if to test his theory. I groan again and lean closer into him, looping my arms around his neck and pressing harder into him as he bites my bottom lip.

I gasp as he slides his tongue into my mouth, immediately taking dominance and for some reason my body isn't fighting for it. It's like I know he will take care of me. For some reason, my body trusts him to make this good.

He slides his tongue around my braces before settling on sucking my tongue and I whimper as he pulls me impossibly closer. He groans and moves my body over to his, sliding my thigh over his legs. His had from my waist drops to my thigh and starts slowly making its way up and all I can think is 'FUCK YEAH'. I feel like he's moving slow enough for me to stop him if I want to, but not too slow as to kill the mood.

His hand rubs over my crotch and he groans when realising I'm hard for him.

"Fuck. You're beautiful" he whispers, moving is mouth to my ear. I whine at the loss of his lips, but suppose I am grateful for the air. My complaints are short lived when his mouth moves straight to my collar bone and bites with a purpose.

"Ummm" I whimper, burying my face into his neck as he sucks hicky after hicky into my skin. Part of my brain is telling me that Lou will kill me tomorrow when she has to try and cover them but an even bigger part is telling me to let this man own me.

"Niall? We have a creaper" He whispers into my ear and it takes me a second to realise he has stopped sucking my skin. I glance up and then over to where he is looking to see Harry looking at us with amused shock. Lou is next to him, clearly filling him in and Harry offers 2 thumbs up to me. I groan and bury my head in Mattys chest.

"Me mates. Only came out to them today" I laugh.

"Did you tell all of them? Manbun looks shocked" he chuckles and I wheeze at the nickname he gave Harry.

"M-ma-man-manbun. Fuck. Jeeezus christ. He's- fuck. Hahahah. That's Harry" I stammer through giggles.

"He's glaring at me" he chuckles, going back to assaulting my neck.

"Hmm. Told L-lou. The on on the chair" I whimper and he hums into my neck, sending vibrations shooting down my body.

"what about Harry?" he asks, going back to kissing my lips.

"No, Lou must have told him though" I mumble into him.

"Fuck there's 2 more. Am I about to get battered?" he laughs nervously and I glance over. Liam and Zayn now joining them, all supporting different faces.

Louis looks like a proud parent, all fond and happy. Harry looks amused that I'm finally getting some. Zayn looks confused as fuck although even from here I can see his droopey eyes and know he's smoked something and Liam, well Liam looks mortified.

"Nahh. Lou will- Lou will sort them" I mutter, turning back to kiss him. For some reason, my biggest fear was the boys finding out I'm gay - part of me wonders if it's because they're guys and they might have assumed I fancy them. But now, I couldn't care less that my 4 best friends are watching a strange man make a masterpiece of red art on my neck as he lightly rubs my dick in the back of a club.

"Matty? Wanna- I have a hotel" I pant.

"Oh, aye? Prepared are we" he jokes and I laugh, shaking my head.

"No, not- I didn't plan it. We- we're in a band, touring for a bit" I say vaguely, a little surprised but relieved he doesn't seem to have recognised us. But, hey, guess we aren't that big in Venice.

"Ohh. You have your own room though, right?" he smirks and I know he's referring the boys who for some reason STILL haven't looked away.

"Yeah. Co-come on" I giggle, grabbing his hand and standing up. I try to subtly adjust my crotch before turning and walking over to the guys, Matty following me, keeping his hand laced with mine.

"Hey, heading back. Anyone coming?"

"You will be soon, could you get any harder?" Liam laughs and glance down embarrased, shifting slightly to try and make it less obvious.

"Leave him be. Share a taxi?" Lou mutters standing up and smiling at me.

I'm sort of grateful for the temporary cock block that is Louis and Harry sharing our taxi, because I have time to calm down and not nut in my jeans, in the taxi (which was a serious concern). But at the same time, I miss kissing him and really want him to rub my cock again.

Matty places his hand over my knee and begins making out with the side of my neck again. I moan a little, close my eyes and block out Harry squeeling that I'm finally getting some".


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

We arrive back at the Aria hotel and I grab Matty's hand as we head up the front doors. Somewhere in the back of my mind I'm thankful there's no paps, but another part of me is too drunk to care at this point. Louis and Harry hang back, having a smoke outside, but I know they're letting me head to my room without judgement or an awkward elevator ride (Which I gravely appreciate!)

I head over to reception to grab my key, slightly annoyed management made us leave them behind reception when we're out - so I don't lose them again. In my defence, it fell out of my pocket at the beach, how was I supposed to notice!?

"Hey, room key 402 please. Niall Horan" I smile at Lizzy. She's a lovely young girl and has been looking after us since we arrived 2 days ago.

"Of course" she grins, fetching the key and handing it over.

"Is he staying?" she frowns a little.

"Yeah" I laugh as Matty squeezes my arse.

"Don't tell my manager, they won't keep it quiet" she whispers then says louder "Let me know when you're done eating and I can call a cab for your friend" she smiles.

"Thanks Lizzie" I grin at her and shake my head with a laugh, handing her a few $100 notes. She frowns and hands them back but I refuse to take them and leave them on the counter, knowing she'll gratefully take them. It should buy her a few more books for med school.

Once in the elevator, Matty pins me to the wall and crashes his lips straight back on mine.

"Did you just buy her silence?" he smirks, kissing down my neck again and resting on my collarbone, licking slightly over one of the love bite he's made.

"No-o. I tipped her f-for Ughh! Hmm, for being nice" I moan as he sucks lightly on the existing bruise. I quickly press the button for floor 4 and allow Matty to crowd me against the wall. He presses his body into mine and holds me against the metal wall, grabbing my hips lightly and scratching his nails over my hip bones.

"Fuck" I whisper, feeling far too gone right now, but loving every moment.

"I really wanna suck you off" he says quietly, as though asking my permission and I didn't know that was a thing during sex- but I'm totally here for it.

"Please" I nod and he cups my crotch through my jeans again with one hand. I shiver slightly at the thought that this man could dominate me so good, making me feel things I couldn't even imagine.

"Which way?" he asks lightly and it takes me a moment to realise the elevator has stopped and we should make a move to find my room. I frown trying to remember, then head right and right again, proud of myself for actually remembering. With all the blood rushing elsewhere, my brain is having a hard time staying focused but we eventually make it to my room and I swipe the key, letting us inside.

I drop the key on the table next to the door and begin kissing Matty again. He grabs my thighs and picks me up, stumbling slightly from the dimly lit room and making his way towards the bed, dropping me on it lightly.

"Strip for me gorgeous" he whispers, eyes raking up and down my body, finally settling back with his eyes locked on mine.

I nod and strip off my shirt, socks and jeans, shivering slightly from the warm air, but all is forgotten when this gorgeous specimen of a man starts removing his shirt. His stomache looks like it was chiselled with a knife and would put Liam's 6 pack to shame, dark hairs leading down his happy trail and now I focus on it, he looks a little older.

"Hey, how- how old are you?" I blurt out and he chuckles, grabbing my ankles and sliding me down the bed towards him. He kisses my lips again whispering "26".

"Oh-okay" I nod a little, trying not to feel inferior.

"Is that- how old are you baby?"

"24" I lie and he raises an eyebrow, not believing me for a second so I sigh "18".

"It's- that's not a problem Niall" he smiles and I nod gently, trying to remind myself that I am an adult and this is acceptable.

He takes off his jeans and joins me on the bed, laying down next to me and kissing me again, slightly softer this time.

I roll onto my back as he kisses a little harder and he follows, laying his body over mine, one hand immediately cupping my waist and the other gripping my hand, pinning it to the bed. We kiss for what feels like forever but, in reality, is only about 15 minutes, before he crawls over me a little more. His leg slots between both of mine, grinding against my cock softly and he moves his hands so they're holding both of mine to the bed, one either side of my face. I feel my cock leak more at the dominance and know I have a wet patch on my boxers.

I can feel the power and 'Alpha' likeness radiating from him and it turns me on even more, but I feel a small nagging feeling in the back of my head saying that he could actually hurt me. If he wanted to, there is nothing stopping this man from pinning me down, taking what he wants and then robbing me. And I wouldn't have a chance against him. Sure, I've been going to the gym twice a week when Harry drags me there, and sure I've been eating healthier since Sarah has come on tour and cooks for us so we don't just live off KFC, but he is huge! And ripped and strong! I'd have no chance. And sure, the boys know he's here but I doubt any of them would come in to check everything's going good- because that's weird! None of us would do it for anyone else getting lucky - so why would they for me.

I feel myself suddenly getting very warm and a little claustrophobic from Matty invading my personal space. He changes his tactic and goes to kiss my lips again, but I can't focus. My chest feels tight and my hands are sweaty and the world is a little too loud right now. I feel him glance at me when I don't kiss him back, clearly trying to see if I'm okay and I smile weakly, closing my eyes to prevent the tears from the panic attack I'm starting to have.

I feel like I'm suffocating and there's no air left in the room for me to have. My body is like lead and the smallest movement makes me feel like I'm going to vomit everywhere. I can't seem to clear my head enough to do anything other than panic and all breathing exercises have gone out of the window as if they never existed.

"Ni? You good babe?" Matty whispers, licking over my ear and I nod at him, knowing he can feel the sensation against his face.

"Babe? What's wrong?" he frowns, clearly not believing me and I shake my head, knowing if I try and speak, I'll cry.

"Baby? I- I need you to want this" he says gently, stroking my hair lightly and it makes me choke a little sob, praying he didn't hear but he moves off of me and I know he did.

"Talk to me" he says gently, and I feel him laying down next to me, running his fingertips gently over my arm. I sigh at the tickling sensation.

"I haven't- b-before" is all I manage and he coos tenderly.

"It's okay, you nervous?"

"Y-yeah" I half lie. I'm nervous as hell now we've stopped and I'm thinking about it, but all I can think about right now is that I can't breathe.

"Breathe darling, we can go at your pace"

"C-can't" I sob angrily, furious at myself for having this beautiful and kind man in my bed, willing to fuck the life out of me and I'm laid here crying. My panic elevates at the feeling of not being good enough and the thought that he could go tell the world how pathetic I am for crying over nothing. And it is nothing, some subconscious part of my mind knows that, but I can't bring it forward enough for the rest of my brain to listen.

"Babe, you're- you need to control your breathing" he soothes and I shake my head, the first few tears falling.

"Okay- okay. I- think you're having a panic attack darling- so- um, here, lay on your side. That's it, here's a blanket to stay warm, yeah? And try and focus on your breathing for me" he coo, moving me softly onto my side, me almost resembling the recovery position and laying the blanket over me that was thrown on the couch.

He lays in front of me and moves some hair off of my sweaty face before disappearing and I momentarily freak out more, but he comes back and lays a cold compress wiping it over my face and resting it on my neck.

"S-s-sorry" I stutter and he hushes me.

"It's okay baby, just focus on your breathing for me" he soothes and I try and focus on his hand in mine and the warm blanket over me and the cool cloth over my neck, reminding myself there is air in the room.

"Hey, tell me 5 thinks you can feel" he prompts and I frown.

"What?"

"Come on, list 5 thing for me. 5 things you can feel" he coos and I nod with a frown, wondering what this has to do with anything right now.

"U- y-your- your hand. Um, cloth, t-the b-blanket. Your leg, touch-touching mine. wet boxers" I stutter, laughing a little at the last one and he chuckles, squeezing my hand.

"Good, well done baby. Now, 4 things you can taste"

"Booze, um y-you. KFC and-and um mint" 

"Well done, you're doing amazing. 3 things you can smell"

"Booze um- again mint and- and Harry's cologne" I whisper, remembering him getting ready in here earlier as Liam was in his room talking to some lass on the phone.

"Two things you can hear" he whispers.

"cars, and- erm the bathroom tap dripping"

"Good, hahaha. Something you can see"

"Nothing" I mutter, still having my eyes closed.

"Well, can you open your pretty eyes for me darling?"

I nod reluctantly, enjoying having the safety barrier that was my eyes closed. It was like a comfort blanket, not having to look at him and see the judgement.

I open my eyes and his smile goes impossibly wider.

"There you are" he whispers and my heart flutters a little at the sincerity from his voice.

"You" I mumble as to the thing I can see and his smile goes impossibly wider.

We lay facing each other for a few more minutes before he moves the wet cloth and dries my neck giving me a little fore-head kiss. He pulls the duvet a bit higher and places a glass of water on the table next to me.

"How- how'd you know?"

"My dad has them. He needs help sometimes"

"I'm sorry- I-"

"-Shhh. Don't be. You don't have anything to be sorry for"

"I- wanted to! I want to- I just. I don't know" I sigh and he kisses my hand, keeping my fingers laced with his.

"You got a little nervous? I'm a little older, you probably expected me to have a ton of experience and you don't have much. Probably got a little nervous about being alone with a stranger too, something you won't have thought about before, because we were in the moment. Yeah? It's honestly okay darling, yeah? The thing about sex, for me, is consent and I couldn't have gone further without you being fully in the zone"

"I'm sorry- you- you probably wanted a sexy night and- yeah"

"Hey! I got a sexy night. I got to make out, repeatedly, with a beautiful young man and have cuddles in his bed, I'm good. Plus, plenty of wank material for later" he jokes and I laugh, stifling a yawn.

"Get some sleep, you'll need it after that. Want me to get Louis or Harry?" he offers and it warms my heart that he remembered their names.

"Could, um, would you stay?" I whisper and he nods, pulling me onto his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaaaaay so I kinda love Matty for Nial and dont think he will be 'that boyfriend' ... opinions on this chapter???


	3. Chapter 3

Niall POV

When I roll over the next morning, I'm pleasantly surprised when my arm lands on a firm body. I frown in my sleep and then the scent of beer and mint comes back and I remember: Matty. I open my eyes to find him still asleep, me slightly laid over him and his arm over my waist as though holding me close. I'm shocked that he stayed and even more so that he didn't just leave without saying anything; but I'm thrilled at the thought of getting to have an actual conversation with him; whilst sober.

I stretch a little, raising my arms over my head and curving my back a little. Matty shifts a little under my moving and opens his eyes gently. He coughs a little into his shoulder and gives me a sleepy grin.

"Morning"

"Morning" I whisper, butterflies fluttering ever so slightly at the simple greeting.

"Sleep okay?"

"Like a baby" I laugh "You?"

"Never slept better, even if my arm has gone dead" he chuckles and I bite my bottom lip, worried I'm hurting him but as I go to move - he grabs me tighter.

"Don't leave me" he whines.

"Your arm is dead" I scoff.

"I have another one" he rolls his eyes.

"I wish I could stay here all day" I mumble, closing my eyes and cuddling closer to him.

"Why can't you? Why can't we?"

"I have rehearsals and a M&G"

"M&G?" he frowns.

"Meet and greet, with fans" I hum.

"Oh, someone's doing well. heck you out MR. Popstar" he laughs and I open my eyes giving him a coy smile.

"Are you famous or something?" he ponders.

"Naah. Not over here anyway. Doing okay in the UK charts" I hum.

"Oh aye? Well, I'll have to treat you well then, or all your little fan girls won't be happy" he grins and I smile lightly at him then bury my face in his shoulder hiding my blushing face.

"So, would you.. could I kiss you?" he asks shyly and I frown, lifting my head to look at him and see if he's being genuine (or taking the piss out of me).

"Wh- um- why are you asking? Las-last night we, we almost- um- and we kissed loads" I stutter.

"I know, it's weird. Like, but- I - Okay don't laugh" he asks quietly and I nod, promising that I won't.

"I want to see if- if I still get butterflies kissing you sober"

"O-okay" I smile.

He leans up slightly and presses his lips to mine gently, cupping the back of my head with one hand and leaning up on the other elbow. I whimper a little at the warm feeling I get in my chest and kiss him back. He leans up farther and kisses me harder, nipping lightly at my bottom lips, swiping his tongue lightly inside my mouth and sucking my tongue. He groans a little and I feel myself get more turned on. He moves the hand he's leaning on to behind my back and flips over, keeping one hand under the back of my head (almost like he's giving my neck support) and lays me down gently.

He presses into me softly and I arch my back up into him, moaning a little from the friction.

"Yeah, butterflies are- are still there" he pants.

"S-same" I pant and he goes to kissing down my neck. I moan and grip the back of his head, holding him in place as he sucks a love bite into my collar bone.

"Can I get your number?" he asks into my skin and I nod quickly, reeling it off for him.

"0136_"

"-Not now! Hahaha. When- after. I can write it down" he pants and I nod again, that makes more sense.

"Uggh, Matty. Fuck" I whimper, grabbing his hand and holding against my crotch, letting I'm feel the effect he has on me. He looks me dead in the eyes, his own eyes dilated with lust and he rubs gently over me, through my boxers.

"You feel happy" he whispers, kissing my cheek.

"I am" I agree and he presses a little firmer.

"Fuck Matty-"

"Oi Nialler! 'Ow was 'e?!" Louis hollers as he barges his way into my room ,spare key card in hand.

"Louis!" I shriek, yanking the duvet over us both.

"Shit! Sorry Nialler! You get some, we can chat later" he cackles, leaving the room with a wink.

"Thought we were getting to low down on pretty boy?" Harry frowns.

"Later Harold, they're busy"

"He's still here?!" Liam shrieks.

"LOUIS!" I snap and he shuts the door quickly.

I flop my head backwards and bury my face with my hands.

"I'm so sorry. They- They're protective and- way too invasive" I groan.

"It's okay, they obviously care about you" he smiles, kissing my cheek gently and laying down facing me.

"Kinda ruined the mood huh?" I frown.

"I'm a young man, I can get in the mood pretty much instantly. But we don't have to do anything, if you don't want to. Or if you aren't ready" he grins.

"I want to. I- I don't want to- actually, like, fuck? Now I'm sober I've lost my courage. But, we could do other stuff" I stammer and he nods, gripping my hip bones and kissing my chest sweetly.

"Can I taste you?" he asks politely and I frown, wondering what exactly he means. He seems to sense my confusion but instead of laughing, like most people would, he twangs the elastic of my boxers against my stomach and nods down to my crotch.

"Oh! Um- yeah! I haven't- but um- yeah. Please" I blush, hating how naive I feel right now and wishing (not for the first time in my life) that I had experience with sex.

He slides me onto my back, laying over my legs and pauses, offering me a kind smile.

"No pressure Ni, if you want to stop at any time, tell me and I promise I'll stop straight away. Okay?"

"Okay, t-thanks Matty" I once again stutter at the sincerity of this kind man.

He pulls my boxers down my bum and I lift my hips a little, allowing him to remove them completely. He takes them off of my feet and drops them to the side of the bed.

"You're beautiful" he whispers and I blush, covering my face with my hands. He grabs them lightly in his and holds them to the bed, gently enough that I could easily remove them.

"Don't hide your gorgeous face. You are absolutely stunning babe" he smiles, kissing my tummy a couple of times.

"Th-thank you Matty" I whisper, offering him a brace grin.

He takes my cock in his right hand and pumps lightly, coaxing me back to life. I whimper a little from the simple touch and he licks the tip. I groan from the pleasure and he sinks a little further down, tightening his throat and rubbing circles into my thigh with his thumb.

I whimper at the tight suction against my cock and grip the bed sheets either side of me.

"Fuck. Feels so- so good. UMMM. God. Ugh, Ma-Matty" I pant and he briefly pulls off.

"I love how vocal you are babe. Tell me how you like it" he hums, taking me back down his throat again.

"Umm. God. Jus- like that. Yeah. Fuck, gonna cum" I whimper, trying to get his attention and pull him off of me, either so I can finish not all over him or to try and hold off a little longer- I'm not sure.

He hums, sucking me tighter in his mouth and it's all it takes for me to finish in his mouth. I grunt and try warning him more but he seems pretty happy to swallow. My stomach tightens and I grip his arm firmly , arching my back into his mouth. One leg bends and my foot pushes me further off the bed and into him, but he seems to appreciate it.

He pulls off carefully and wipes a bit of dribble from his chin, offering me a large grin. I flop against the bed and pant harshly as I come down.

He kisses my cock, causing me to laugh and leans over to grab my boxers, he gives me a clean off and pulls the duvet over us. I grin and pull him down to the bed, once again cuddling into him.

"Thankyou" I smile.

"Was that okay?" he asks, smoothing some of my hair down.

"Literally so good. Do- do you want me- um- to?" I ask nervously, motioning to his erection pressing against my leg.

"Um, no babe. How about, we wait until you're ready? I'd actually like to take you on a date. If that's okay?"

"A date? Really?" I beam, I've never been on a date before.

"Yeah, I'd love to get to know you" he smiles, kissing my nose and I giggle into him.

"I'd like that"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
> 
> GOOD RIDDANCE 2020

Louis POV

We are all sitting around in my room, eating room service breakfast and discussing the plans for the day.

"So, what time we at rehearsals?" Zayn asks and we all look at each other blank, none of us having bothered to learn the schedule.

"Dunno, Nialler? What time we at- Ohhhh. He's not here" Harry mutters, looking around one more time to make sure he hasn't missed the blonde.

"Oh yeah! He's with that guy!" Liam exclaims, and I nod silently looking over the other three's face, trying to gage their reactions to Niall being with another man.

Liam looks confused, but not angry or upset. Harry has a 1000-Watt smile and looks like the proud parent I feel like and Zayn, well I have never been able to read him, but I don't think he's bothered.

"He looked a bit old" Harry comments a few moments later and I nod a little, agreeing that compared to Nialler, who looks around 15 with the blonde hair and braces, he did look old.

"How old do you reckon? I reckon at least 25" Liam adds.

"Yeah, if not older" Harry mutters, picking at his cheese bagel.

"Yeah, but like, he had some fun" I add on, trying to get them to lighten up.

"That's true, and by the sounds of it, he finally got some" Zayn cackles, lighting up another cig even though we aren't allowed to smoke in the rooms.

"He did, didn't he" I grin.

"Reckon we should wake him? He needs to eat before rehearsals" Zayn asks, in between drags.

"And tell us when rehearsals are" Liam comments.

"Umm, no. We already went round didn't we? And Matty was still there? Don't want to look over-obsessive" I mutter, wishing I could go and make sure he's okay but knowing it's a little unheard of for a guy to be checked on after a one-night stand.

"Matty! That's it! His name had been bugging me!" Harry grins.

"You're so dumb Haz. You should have been the blonde one" Zayn mutters, flicking a bit of peperoni at him. Harry squawks in protest and throws the nearest thing to hand back at him; a bread roll. They continue chucking bits of food at each other for the next minute before a voice from the doorway makes them stop.

"Oi, don't waste food!"

"Aye! Nialler! Joining us?" I grin and he looks down nervously, shifting slightly from foot to foot before I notice a hand on his arm; suddenly realising why he's gone shy; he doesn't know if Matty is welcome or what the reactions will be to him coming out.

"Aye Nialler! Come on, saved you a seat" Harry grins and everyone looks over at him. Niall looks moments away from a panic attack and I make to stand and comfort him when I see the small hand rubbing circles into his arm and Matty whispering in his ear. Niall laughs a little and wipes his hands down his face before taking a deep breath and walking over to us, lightly pulling the older man with him.

They both take a seat at the table and Niall grabs a bread roll with a shaking hand. I chuck a sausage at him to bring him out of his head and help him see nothing has changed. He laughs and tries to dodge it but it hits his shoulder anyway. He offers me a 'thankyou' smile and grabs some bacon from the middle of the table.

"Help yourself Matty" I nod to him and he smiles a thank you before grabbing some toast.

We eat silently for a minute and I can tell Niall is getting nervous that no one has addressed the elephant in the room. He keeps picking at his food and not really eating it, which he only does when he's nervous. I know why none of the boys have said anything though, it's not a big deal - so why make something out of nothing? Why make him feel like it's something that NEEDS to be discussed and brought up? IT certainly isn't. But I can tell he isn't thinking that way at the moment and his mind is running a mile a minute thinking we're all mad at him or disappointed or worse...... disgusted with him.

"So, Matty. What do you do for a living?" I ask, figuring if we ignore mentioning he's a man and treat him how we would any of the other partners, then it might help Nialler relax.

"I'm a teaching assistant, in grade 10. Mainly in Spanish, but I help out in French too. Not as fluent with that though, so I can only help with the less advanced classes" he grins.

"No way! You're a language geek too?" Harry laughs and Matty looks confused, clearly not understanding that Nialler can speak many languages also.

"Um? Too?" He frowns looking at Niall and then me, then Niall.

"Niall could give you lessons, he's that good" Zayn pipes up and Niall scoffs, with an eye roll.

"Am not" He lies.

"You are!" Liam argues.

"Me estas mintiendo bebe?" Matty mutters, smirking at Niall who rolls his eyes.

"Nunca te mentiria querido" Niall smirks back.

"Jesus! Why didn't you tell me you were bi-lingual?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were?" Niall laughs.

"je n'aime pas me vanter, assez modeste moi-meme" Matty responds and at first I thought they were speaking Spanish, but isn't 'je n'aime pas' French??

"Ahh un homme selon mon propre coeur, la modestie est la cle" Niall grins, laughing.

"What the fuck you two saying?" Liam mutters.

"Yeah! Don't keep us in the dark" Harry complains.

"Ewwwwwe! It better not be dirty!" Zayn whines.

"Are you having dirty talk in another language! That's hot and so unfair" Harry complains

"Si seulement ils savaient" Matty grins.

"ils pensent probablement discuter de la nuit ou faire des plans pour le deuxieme tour" Niall adds and as irritating as it is not knowing what they're saying, I've never seen two people gel so quickly and look so perfectly matched.

"Oi, oi! Keep it English would you!" Liam mutters.

"Okay" Niall shrugs.

"Sorry" Matty laughs.

"Oh, last thing! Merci de m'avior soigne hier soir et la pipe etait epique" Niall mutters to us and then grins at Matty.

"Sorry baby, only got half of that" he frowns.

"Oh, um. Okay. Gracias por cuidarme anoche y la mamada fue epica"

"Ohhh! Hahahah. You're welcome" he smirks, light blush on both their faces and I know for a fact, THAT one was dirty.

"Hey! No dirty talk at the table!" Harry complains and they both blush harder. I smirk into my cup of tea.

We're all sat around laughing about last night and getting to know Matty and telling him bits about us, when Niall gets a phone call.

"Oh, It's me ma. Um, one second" he mutters, moving to the couch and taking the call. It's a little odd for Maura to call him, especially when he's always the one to call her - due to our schedules being so hectic- we never know when we're free!

"Yeah. Um- yeah. I know ma bu- yeah. No. Umm. I am. Yeah. He- he's called Matty. I- I dunno yet ma- I know but- Right. O-okay" Is all we here, but it's enough to know she doesn't approve. Whether it's because he's been with another boy, or because it was a one-night stand, none of us know. Niall sighs and comes over to the table.

"Everything okay? " Harry frowns.

"She- um- she doesn't approve" he sighs, looking nervously at his hands on his knee.

"Of me?" Matty nods understandingly.

"Because he's a guy?" Liam asks.

"Yeah, and- well, because we don't really know each other and we've already been seen- well, practically fucking in the street" Niall grumbles, chucking his phone on the table.

I reach over and grab it, typing in his password and loading up Twitter. I want to know how bad the damage is, because for Maura (who doesn't even have the internet) to know less than 12 hours later - it must be bad. I open Twitter and the first thing I see trending is #gayniall with a shit ton of videos and images of Niall making out with Matty, in the club, in the street, in the taxi and outside the hotel. You can clearly see Niall leading him into the hotel and both of their evident boners, straining in their jeans.

I dig a little further, trying to gage whether people are supportive or not of Niall's sexuality. I'm pleasantly surprised to see that the majority of people seem really happy for him as he seems happy. Most of the accounts tweeting about how proud they are of him and how happy he seems and they're glad he's found happiness. There are the odd accounts saying how gutted they are, stating in graphic detail how they were sure Niall would marry them and look as blissfully fucked out by them. And of course, there are the haters who are claiming it's 'wrong' and 'disgusting' and he should be 'kicked out of the band'. But for the most part it seems positive.

But then another thought crosses my mind, if Maura knows and the entire world thanks to Twitter - so will Simon.

The thought is only in my mind for a moment before Niall's phone starts ringing in my hand. I glance at it and see "Uncle Siiiii" calling. I turn the phone to show the other boys and Niall visibly stiffens.

"Have I caused you issues? I'm so sorry Niall!"

"No. Um, s'my fault. I- I haven't told anyone- and- um. Yeah. Fuck! I don't- I don't even know- what do I tell him?" Niall panics and the phone goes silent, only to start ringing for the second time.

"Shhh" I tell him and motion for the others to do the same.

"Hey Simon" I half smile, sounding as normal as I can.

"Louis? Where's Niall?"

"He's in the shower. What's up?"

"I need to speak with him. Get him please"

"He'll be out in a minute. What's up?" I repeat.

"Did you know about him being gay?"

"I did"

"And? You didn't think to tell me?"

"It wasn't my place" I say firmly, reaching over the table and squeezing Nialls hand.

"It wasn't your- Louis! I need to know things like this! It changes everything-"

"-It changes nothing" I argue "He's still Nialler and we love him. The tour will continue and everything will be fine"

"Who was that boy? Well, I say boy- man. Who was he? He looked 30"

"He's Nialls friend" I state bluntly.

"Friend? You don't make out with your friend and Niall took him back to the hotel?! What was he thinking?!"

"He was thinking he' an 18 year old boy, in Italy, who wanted to have some fun. He's single and free to do as he pleases. It's no different to when Liam or any of the rest of us pick up a girl for the night, so why is it different for him?" I snap.

"Because we have media control in place for girls being picked up. We have damage control ready"

"So, use one of the damage control lies for Matty" I mutter, not understanding why it's such a big deal Niall picked up a man.

"Louis. Put Niall on the phone"

"He's in the shower" I lie again.

"Okay. Go get him or this tour is cancelled" he states firmly.

I sigh and gesture for Niall to go into the bathroom, he does and starts up the shower.

I wait a moment for him to close the door and head over. I knock loudly and call out his name, telling him that Simon is on the phone and he opens the door.

"Yeah?" he asks nervously and I kiss his fore head.

"Simon is on the phone for you" I say loudly and he sighs.

"I'm right here babe" I encourage him and he nods a little taking the phone.

"H-hey Simon. Um- Matty. Y-yeah. I know I just- Yeah. It wasn't planned. 26. Yeah. No- please! I really like him! But- yeah. We- we have a date planned though- no. O-okay. Mhm. Okay. Bye"

"Well?" I ask quietly but I know by the look on his face, it isn't good.

"I'm- I'm not allowed to date him. He's in a bad light now" he sighs and I frown.

"He can't make you stay away from him Niall"

"He can, He threatened to cancel the tour if I don't. And he's setting me up with this other guy that's my 'boyfriend'" he grumbles, glaring at the floor.

My heart drops. I don't want Niall to sacrifice his happiness for the sake of the band, but I know that he would never put his own happiness above what's best for us all.

"I'm sorry" I sigh.

"Me too" he nods weakly, glancing at Matty who is sat in an in-depth conversation with Harry. They are all sat around laughing and joking and Matty just fits, with the band. He is funny and charming and I could see him treating Niall like a king. He would be easy to get on with when he came on tour for a bit with us, to see Niall, and it would be effortless. 

But now it can never be.

Because Niall has to date this new boy. But what's he like?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already hate this new boy for Niall uggggh


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we meet Peter and I hate him already!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo sorry for the delay, life has been .. well... life.... but I'm hoping to finish this fic over the next few weeks!!!!

Niall POV

After hanging up the phone with Simon, I feel defeated. I really like Matty and I could see us being great together but now that can't happen.

"What you thinking bug?" Lou asks softly, rubbing my arm.

"I'm annoyed" I grumble and he laughs lightly. 

"Yeah, I can see that"

"I really like him Lou" I mumble, hoping he understands what I mean without me having to say it, but his face tells me he doesn't.

"I know mate, but there'll be others-"

"i-t's not the same-"

"-you don't know that-"

"-I do. I do know that. It's stupid, I know! I met this man 12 hours ago and I'm acting like a teenage school girl but- I can't explain it. It doesn't matter" I snap, going to head back to the table but he stops me.

"It does matter. Tell me" he reassures.

"I have the craziest butterflies that haven't left since I met him. And last night, he was so good-"

"-don't want to know about your sex!" He butts in.

"Wasn't going to tell you about it. He was so good to me, kind and reassuring and we had such a laugh. Didn't even end up doing it but it was great. And- he wants to go on a date with me? Me of all people? Now, I don't know whether he's genuine about that or whether he googled us in the bathroom and figured out we're pretty big in the uk, or what, but. I feel drawn to him. I know! I know it sounds stupid, don't look at me like that! I just- you know I don't believe in soul mates and fate and all that, it's a load of shite- but I feel drawn to him. I feel like he was made for me and I can't shake that feeling-"

"-Niall think about what you're saying-"

"-I have. I am. And I know that- I could see us getting married and having kids, Louis. I can see that so clearly in my mind" I whisper. 

"You've just met him, and you like him. I get it. It's cute. But marriage takes time and all that, you can't know from 12 hours with someone they're that important" he argues.

"But I do know. If he asked me to marry him I'd say yes" I say firmly.

"Right yeah, a few years down the line sure-"

"-No. If he asked me, right now, to marry him I would say yes" I repeat, hoping he understands but knowing he doesn't. 

"Niall that is crazy! You can't! I just- I'm speechless!"

"I trust him" I say firmly and his eyes widen. I know he understands now. 

I dont trust easily. It took me 11 months to trust the boys and let my guard down around them, to let them see me vulnerable. I used to trust everyone until they gave me a reason not to. Now, I trust no one unless they give me a reason to.

"You do?" He asks quietly and I nod.

"So what's the plan?" He asks a moment later.

"Don't have one. Simon will cancel the tour if I date him. I mean, not gonna lie I was thinking of just leaving the band, but I really love it" I sigh.

"Please don't leave" he almost begs and I sigh but nod, it's the last thing I want to do.

"I just- I can't tell him. I know he probably won't be too bothered, but I am. Could you tell him?" I ask quietly and he nods giving me a silent cuddle. I head into the bathroom for some space whilst he does.

Louis POV

After chatting with Niall I head back to the table and take a seat.

"Is Ni okay?" Matty asks and I nod a little, gutted this man won't become a permanent part of our future. He seems so genuinely lovely!

"Yeah. He just- needs a minute"

"Okay. His anxiety okay?" He asks concerned.

"Um-" I start but Harry cuts me off.

"-Anxiety? What you on about?"

"Yeah. Niall hasn't got anxiety" Liam adds, all three looking at me and I gulp.

"No! I didn't mean like anxiety anxiety, I meant like, how he needs a bit more -like- reassurance and stuff" Matty lies and the other three nod understanding but not realising it's a lie.

I smile gratefully at his quick thinking. The last thing Niall needs is other people finding out about his anxiety before he's ready to tell them.

"Erm, so Matty. I have something to tell you and you may not like it. Niall isn't allowed to- well- you're seen in a bad light because of last night and-our management- said- um. He isn't allowed to date you" I stutter and his face literally drops to the floor. Like a kid who has just been told there is no Christmas this year.

"Screw what he says. Niall can date who he wants" Harry snaps, trying to be supportive.

"Sure, if we want the entire world tour cancelled" I sigh.

"O- oh. Um. Are- are they allowed to do that?" Matty mumbles, eyes wide and probably now realising we're pretty huge to have a world tour.

"When your manager is Simon Cowell, he can do as he pleases" Zayn mutters, lighting up another cigarette. 

"He- he threatened to cancel the tour?" Harry whispers and I nod.

"I can't be responsible for that. You guys seem great and- he clearly loves his job. Kept drunkenly talking about it in his sleep" Matty whispers, looking as though someone just ran over his dog. 

"I'm sorry. He- he's gutted and couldn't face telling you. He still wants your number though"

"Yeah, I understand. I'll write it out for him. Could- could I see him? Before I leave?" He asks and I nod, pointing to the bathroom. 

He stands up quietly and makes his way over. He knocks lightly on the door and makes himself known before entering. The door is only open for a moment but it's long enough to hear Niall crying and him going to comfort him.

"This sucks" Harry snaps, throwing his toast down on his plate.

"Yeah. It gets worse. Niall has a staged boyfriend now" I sigh and steal a cigarette from Zayns packet on the table. He nods, knowing I need this and slides a lighter over to me.

*3 Weeks later*

Things are a little weird, Niall is like a walking zombie from the stress of all this, not sleeping or eating and having to do a 'coming out' interview. Then on the other hand, as soon as Matty calls or texts, his eyes light up like a Christmas tree, his mood doing a complete 180 degree turn.

The coming out interview is hard. Niall tells me late one night that he would prefer James Cordan to do the interview as he's pretty chill and we're all pretty close and I smile, kissing his head as he falls asleep squashed into my bunk.

So, the next morning, I make it happen.

"Hi Simon, we want James to do the first interview" I say firmly.

"Good morning to you too Louis. This doesn't work like this. You work for me, remember?"

"I do. And if you want us compliant on this world tour, you best make it happen." I smile. winking at the boys say around the table. We all agreed beforehand to do this for Nialler and whilst we'd never cancel the tour - we can make everyone's lives a nightmare on it.

"Fine. Anything else?"

"Ditch the fake boyf?" I grin.

"Not a chance" he snaps before hanging up.

"Well, we got James" I half smile.

"Matty?" Liam asks hopeful but he already knows the answer, before I shake my head.

"This sucks-" Harry begins but is cut off by Niall coming out of the bathroom, phone glued to his ear and raiding the fridge. He only ever eats when he's talking to Matty and the boy has lost well over 2 stone in the last 3 weeks.

"-Yeah! I know Hahahah. Oh my god you have to come to San Fan next month. Please?? Sweet, I'll send you the details. I- Wait, is this a band thing? Meeting? Should I- do I need to be here?" Niall giggles then looks serious as he meets my eyes.

"No babe! We got James, but - you still have to have the eye candy" I tell him lightly and he sighs before nodding and going tohis bunk.

He stays there for the rest of the night.

NIALL POV

"So, Niall, this is Peter. He's 19 and is a model from Miami." Simon smiles as he drags me into a room holding a complete stranger, the boys all following suit.

He's pretty. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, nice figure. But he looks like a model, which makes me feel like a loser.

I cross my arms over my stomache to hide the podge and he glances down with a scoff, clearly finding my insecurities amusing.

"Hi. M' Niall" I mutter.

"Peter" he nods.

"Well, you two better warm up before you go on James' show tonight" Simon grumbles, leaving the room.

"So, um, wh- what do you like to do?" I mumble, taking a seat on the couch, the other boys being pushed out of the room by Simon.

"I'm a model" he rolls his eyes and sits oposite me.

"Y-yeah I know, but like- do you like um music?"

"Good music yeah. Not the kind of shite you lot chuck out"

"Oh-kay. What- um- what kind do you like?" I stutter, feeling my face flush.

"Kanye, Drake, anyone with a decent career" he challenges and I nod, picking at my finger nails.

"So, gay boy guessing he was your first" he laughs, taking me b surprise.

"Wh-um. What?"

"The guy you practically shagged in the club. You were like a needy school girl, he had to have been your first."

"Y-yeah" I sigh, hating this guy already.

"Bet he didn't mind, a hole is a hole, regardless of the face, am I right?" he scoffs, pulling his phone out and making a call, completely ignoring me.

"Hey, Jonno! Yeah mate. Here with him now. Yeah. He's alright, nothing special. Yeah. Yeah. Naah. Won't be around long enough mate. Couple months, nice pay check and I'm gone. Like fuck I'm doing that! Yeah. Hahaha. Probably. I'll only have to give him, what, three compliments and he'll be gagging for me" he laughs, looking me dead in the eye. I feel my eyes well up and will myself not to cry. It doesn't work and the first tear falls.

"Yeah. On in 5, need to go. No, not the Asian one, the gay boy. Yeah, Blondie. Alright, See yah!" he grins, hanging up.

"Well, at least try and look pretty out there. Don't embarrass me" he warns and I wipe my eyes as he leaves the room.


	6. Chapter 6

"Please give it up, for One Direction!" James calls and we all make our way out of the back stage room, to the stage.

Harry leads as usual, followed by Liam and Zayn, Louis throws his arm around my shoulder and practically pushes me on the stages as my feet feel like lead.

"You're good babe" he says in my ear, laughing like he's made a joke.

"Thanks" I whisper back.

We all get seated, me in the middle of the 1D sandwich and it's nice. Louis has his arm around me, Harry rests his hand on my knee and Liam and Zayn keep giving me little reassuring grins.

"So, I wanna talk about the music first. The album, Take Me Home is out now and I've had a listen, you have some catchy songs on here. Obviously the singles, Live while we're young and kiss you are great. But Ed Sheeran wrote a song for you didn't he?"

"Yah, so Ed wrote a song called Little Things and he called, um, Liam and said I think you guys would do a good job with a song I've wrote and, yeah, um he gave us the song" Harry explains.

"So he just, gave you the song?" James laughs.

"Yeah, so he played it for us first, after the chat with Liam and we all loved it and he asked us to sing a bit of it. So, Zayn and Louis sang a few lines and he said it was exactly how he wanted it to sound, so we could have it" Harry continues.

"So what do you think Little things is about. Like what's the idea?"

"I think the concept is, that, um it's- there's not necessarily one thing that makes you love a person. It's not one big thing and you're hooked, it's a build-up of all the smaller things-" Harry continues.

"-The little things" Louis chimes in with a smirk.

"-Yeah, it's the little things that make you realise you love someone. Like, how their eyes crinkle when they laugh or their face when they can't breathe from laughing. It's not- it's the unattractive things people do that make them attractive. Like their hair in the mornings or sweat pants and a jumper on cold days. There's never one thing that makes someone fall in love. I think- well- that's my interpretation of the song" Harry finishes and we all nod agreeing.

"So you all agree? Zayn?"

"Yeah, it's like Harry said, the reason you love someone is all the small things they do, 'cause it makes them who they are"

"And you have another one on here, called 'they don't know about us'. Can you- can you tell me what that's about?"

"It's pretty, well. We don't like to say like this song means this and that song is about that person. We like to just, make them and let people interpret them how they feel" Liam states and Louis adds on to that.

"Yeah, it's like. We might make a song about falling in love and someone else could interpret it as falling out of love or losing a friend. Like, it's open for the listener to decide what they want it to be about"

"And Niall, we have a song here called 'moments' what was that like to record?"

"Oh, um yeah. That- that was another one that Ed wrote and he, he originally wrote it about someone struggling with mental health and sort, being there but not being there and its from their partners point of view that they- um- they're trying to reach them but can't. So yeah. That was great to record" I stutter.

"It's nice that, we have a lot of younger fans and you know, people in general are struggling with their mental health- like depression anxiety- that sort of thing, and it's nice for us to record a song that they could relate to" Harry adds on, giving my knee a squeeze.

"Exactly! Great!"

The interview continues mostly like this, the others answering the majority of the questions and me only answering the ones directed to me specifically, and even then, one of the others have to add on to the end of it as it's not very descriptive.

I'm brought out of my trance by Louis nudging my arm softly. I glance at him and then James who repeats the question without even hesitating. (We told him in advance I may zone out and please please please prompt me when I look blank).

"I'm sure everyone has seen the images and we're a little curious. Was that you with that boy in the club?"

"Er- yes" I whisper, feeling my face flush. The crowd cheer and it takes nearly 5 minutes to quieten them down so we can continue. But I really appreciate the positive response.

"Great! What's his name? We need details!"

"Erm- he's called Matty and he's a good friend. We talk a lot and yeah, we both got pretty drunk and made out in the middle of the bar"

"So is this, are you gay?"

"I- I Am. Yeah. I didn't- intend to come out this way but- that's what alcohol does for you" I chuckle.

"And did- are your parents- were the surprised? Did the boys know?"

"My ma was shocked and a bit annoyed I didn't tell her myself, but it was fine. Me da was happy for me, said I looked happy and, you know, that's all he could ask for. I told Lou that night in the club, before I made out with Matty" I stutter, lying about my mother, not wanting to tell the world he has disowned me for my sexuality.

"And what about the other boys? They look pretty shocked in some of the other pictures from that night"

"Yeah, the little shit didn't even tell us!" Zayn laughs.

"We found out by watching them making out" Harry adds.

"And you know, we spoke about it the next morning and everything is okay. You know, he's our little Nialler and we love him regardless" Liam grins, ruffling up my hair.

"I love it! And, you- you have a boyfriend that isn't him? Is that right?"

"Yeah. Um we, me and Peter got together a week or so after. Like, we'd been talking for a while and decided to make it, like official"

"Wow! Loads of exclusive info here! and Peter is here! Let's bring him out!" James calls and on cue, my 'boyfriend' enters the stage, smiling perfectly and waving like a god. The boys shuffle a little and Peter sits next to me, replacing Harry who sits on the chair arm.

"So, how did you two meet?" James smiles at me.

"Can I take this one baby?" Peter asks, holding my hand and I blush from the physical contact and nod.

"I was doing a modelling shoot for Vogue and he and the boys came down for pro-mo and- well, we just clicked!"

After the interview I head back to my hotel room and the boys follow, along with Peter.

We call crash out on the bed and order room service, eating in an awkward silence until 4, when Peter is allowed to be seen leaving my hotel. 

Liam and Louis decide enough is enough and set up Fifa, us all taking turns to battle the winner.

"Niall? Can we be alone now" Peter asks after coming back from the bathroom and yeah ANOTHER phone call.

"What? Oh- um- ss-sure" I stutter and he leaves through the main door, leading to the hallway. I glance at the others, wondering if they know what the issues is but their blank stares tell me they don't have a clue either.

I swipe my key card in the lock and let us both into my room, switching on the light and throwing my phone on the bed.

"W-what's up?"

"Nothing. It's time for my payment" he grins.

"Oh- um. I think you- you have to speak with Simon about that? I don't um. He didn't say anything to me about paying you" I stutter, confusion all over my face.

He laughs. He laughs loud and proud, tears streaming down his face before stopping dead and glaring at me.

I think I must have missed something because the next thing I know, he's pushing me onto the bed and crawling on top of me.

"Wha- what are you-"

"-Shut up. Slut. I know you want this" he laughs, speading my thighs and resting his knee over my crotch.

"I don't. Get off me" I snap and he slaps me lightly across the face. Not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough that it stuns me.

"Shut. Up. You're gagging for it. You're already hard, don't tell me you don't want this. Gay boy-"

"-Stop calling me that" I snap angrily, tears falling down my cheeks once again.

"It's what you are. I'm not even gay, but a bloody good actor clearly. You make me sick. You're a disgusting mutation of a human and don't deserve the air you breathe. Now, be a good little gay boy. Sit still. Look pretty and spread 'em."

**Author's Note:**

> Loved


End file.
